Imperial Fire Brigade. Can I help you?
Hello, yes, this is the Emperor.
I see. You’re the emperor are you?
And I’m the Duke of Wellington. Please get off the line.
Look, this is not a prank call! I am Emperor Peng Win Two and if I find out who you are I’ll have your guts for garters!!
Yes, sir! I'm very sorry, sir! We’ll get there right away sir! What’s the address?
Yes, it’s the Imperial Palace, number one… IT'S THE IMPERIAL PALACE, YOU IMBECILE! Get here on the double - the Imperial Garden’s on fire!
© David Severn